Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
