And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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