nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
