I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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