so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
