i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
