I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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