I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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