I'm jealous of your bromance
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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