Pappa wants mamma naked
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
