I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
