I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My penis needs a shock collar
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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