She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
