they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
