I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
