it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
