ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Your penis caused this!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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