oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
