Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
