what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
