I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
