I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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