You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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