I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
