do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
