did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I want to be your penis for a week.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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