Christians are straight up FREAKS
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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