dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
