I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
