I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
