nut hugger
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize