Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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