therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
