We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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