Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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