I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
