My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
