Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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