Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
