is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
