You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You smell like stripper and shame
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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