So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize