Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
