Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
