so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
