I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize