Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
