U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
