Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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