Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
