escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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