so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
