TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
