Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He shit in the fireplace
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
