So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize