I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
This girl is more easily done than said...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
