Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
