sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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