He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
