Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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