I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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