i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Randomize
