You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
