it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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