In the future we'll all be gay
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
