Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
