That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My life is pants optional.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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