and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
