I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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