It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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