How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
